Gratitude : The Art of Non-Conformity

Life

Thank you, 2020. It was terrible and wonderful.

I started writing this note by trying to take stock of a few things about this year that were good.

The process was easier than I expected. Sure, 2020 has been a dumpster fire year in many ways. But when I really stopped to think about it, it wasn't hard to identify several things in my life that wouldn't have happened were it not for the world coming to a stop.

It's always possible to find silver linings, and in a brief examination I found several.

Life

The Real Imposter Is the Part of You That Hesitates

What holds people back from making a bold choice or following a dream?

When you ask, often they’ll point to the lack of knowledge. They simply aren’t sure what to do, so they wait for someone to give them a step-by-step plan.

Other times, they mention a lack of resources or some kind of access—perhaps they need money, or maybe they're holding out on a specific connection or certification.

After writing and sharing online for more than a decade, however, I’m pretty sure that these cases are the minority. Instead, the thing that stops more people than anything else is internal resistance.

Et Cetera

An Early Recap of WDS 2017: 12 Photos that Tell Thousands of Words

Last week I hosted WDS 2017, our seventh annual gathering of awesome people in Portland, Oregon. This year we focused on the theme of “Building a Better World.” The intention is to encourage and empower everyone to take action that helps others. We can’t solve every problem in the world, but that doesn’t mean we should hold back from helping.

The event unfolds in a few different settings:

Main-stage keynotes
A get-to-know-you Opening Party
Hundreds of independent meetups taking place all over town
A dozen Academies, half-day workshops focusing on specific topics
Additional activities and adventures, including an interactive art installation
A truly epic Closing Party

Oh, and we also had a lot of fun!

Life

“We Run Away from Desperation:” Thoughts on Pursuing a Creative Idea

I recently recorded a Side Hustle School episode about Michelle D’Avella, a designer who spent several years building a blog before turning it into a full-time income.

The first year she started her blog, she made $0. Last year, after experimenting with a series of virtual workshops and mentoring sessions, she made $50,000. The success isn’t just about making money, it’s also (maybe even more importantly) about finding work she believes in.

Her advice to others is to create from a place of joy.

"Don’t put so much pressure on figuring it all out, but make sure what you’re doing is something you can feel good about. When we create from joy, people feel it. When we create from lack, people feel it too. We run away from desperation."

Life

“I’m able to embrace every struggle that I’ve had with a spirit of gratitude.”: Zach Anner at WDS

Later this month we’ll release the first round of tickets for WDS 2017, a week-long gathering of creative, remarkable people—taking place next summer in beautiful Portland, Oregon.

But first, we’re rolling out a series of speaker videos from the 2016 event. Zach Anner is the author of the comedic memoir If at Birth You Don't Succeed. He is an award-winning comedian, show host, and public speaker who won his own travel show on the Oprah Winfrey Network called "Rollin’ With Zach." He’s also hosted several web series on his YouTube channel, garnering over 13 million hits.

Life

The Black Spot in the Painting

Consider a painting by one of the European masters. Somehow you’ve discovered this painting in your grandmother’s attic. It’s worth a fortune, or so say the appraisers who come to your house to inspect it.

They’re going to take it away for auction, but before they do, you insist on keeping it on your mantle for a month. Every day you look at it with pride. This painting has been in your family for centuries! Soon it will bring you wealth, but first it brings beauty and elegance to your living room.

The painting is spectacular, with thousands of careful brush strokes and just the right blend of colors. The artist had clearly spent decades mastering his craft. Of the dozens of his paintings that were still known to exist, you sense that this was one of his favorites.

Except for one thing. Just off-center, in the midst of perfection, lies a single black spot. The spot isn’t huge, but it’s not tiny either. When you look at the painting, there’s no missing it. How did it get there? Surely, you think, it was a rare mistake. Perhaps the painter was tired at the end of a long day and accidentally splashed a dash of black in the midst of all the color. Or maybe some well-meaning apprentice came along later to retouch the painting and ended up making a mess.

Et Cetera

The Habit of Giving

Today I made a small donation to a cause that inspired me. It wasn't really because of the holiday, it didn’t cost me much, and I won’t miss the money. Yet, I still felt good after I pushed the button that finalized the commitment.

Notice how selfish this sounds: It felt good to give! I was the one with the benefit.

But this is how it works. The more you give, the better you feel.

Give it a try.

Life

“Most Ambitions Belong to the Past”: Reflections on A Neurosurgeon’s Final Year of Life

I recently stumbled upon an essay from Paul Kalanithi, a neurosurgeon who died earlier this year at the age of 37.

I read the whole thing several times and was struck by several passages, including this one:

"Everyone succumbs to finitude. I suspect I am not the only one who reaches this pluperfect state. Most ambitions are either achieved or abandoned; either way, they belong to the past.

The future, instead of the ladder toward the goals of life, flattens out into a perpetual present. Money, status, all the vanities the preacher of Ecclesiastes described, hold so little interest: a chasing after wind, indeed."

Life

“If you have to ‘give back,’ maybe you took too much in the first place.”

I heard someone say that recently. I don’t remember the context but I really liked the sentiment.

This whole concept of “giving back”—it kind of implies a certain arrogance. It suggests that everything we’ve received comes from our own hard work, and that we are deserving of whatever wealth or status we hold.

Et Cetera

Living With Gratitude in a Modern Age: Starbucks Edition

Here’s one more story for the thread. (Oh, and here’s the first.)

Someone gave me a Starbucks gift card as a thank-you for a favor I did. Oh thanks! I thought. That was nice.

But to be honest, I get a fair number of Starbucks cards, so it didn't stand out in my mind at first. Most of the time, I just load them up on my card (you use the app, right?) and don’t think of it again.

This time I did something different. It was a $25 card, so I added it to the app but didn’t combine the balance with my main card like I usually do.

What’s the difference?

Well, every time I went to Starbucks for the next couple weeks and used funds from that new card’s balance, I thought of the person who gave me the card. Instead of just thinking That was nice once, I continued to think That was nice—and they’re still buying my coffee today!

Every day we have opportunities to live with gratitude—even in this modern age.

Et Cetera

Living With Gratitude in a Modern Age

Jonathan Fields is one of the most generous people I know. He is always helping me and many others. I try to help him in return but the ratio is at least 4:1 in his favor.

In this post he explains something he’s done for a while:

While I do have a standard sig-file that gets added to my emails automatically, I type the words “With gratitude” by hand. Slowly, with intention, owning a sense of genuine gratitude as I type. In doing so, it becomes a mini-meditation. A momentary honoring. An opportunity to acknowledge gratitude dozens of times each day. And, strangely enough, when I do this, it makes me feel different. I know, weird.

It doesn’t take a lot of time, but it does take conscious time.

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Travel

Traveler 1, Jet Lag 0 (For Once)

You, traveler, know very well what jet lag is like. For a period of several years, you were essentially jet-lagged two weeks every month. “Jet lag is my favorite drug,” you said, repeating the great line by Jacques Cousteau.

But you knew then, just as all travelers come to know, that real jet lag is a bitch. Contrary to the suggestions of well-meaning people who took a trip once and thus claim to know all about the world, jet lag is unpredictable. When it arrives, there’s no magic bullet to stop it from claiming your days and nights for as long as it wants.

Life

Do You Want to Be Right or Do You Want to Be Free?

I’ve been thinking about this question recently (thanks, Danielle). There’s a lot of freedom in giving up on a matter of principle, so you can move on with your life. When at an impasse in a difficult situation, the freedom comes in saying “OK, whatever. Have it your way, but let’s stop the silliness.” Letting…

Life

To Express Gratitude, Put the Do-Not-Disturb Sign Back Where It Belongs

When I check into a hotel room (something I do 100+ times a year), I immediately put the do-not-disturb sign on the door. I don’t want to be bothered while working or napping, and unless it’s a really nice hotel, I don’t care about turndown service. Over the years I’ve tried to follow a routine…

Life

You Should Do What Makes You happy

I liked Seth Miller’s post about flying JetBlue on his birthday for no particular reason other than the fact that it made him happy. He boarded a plane, flew for an hour, and then turned around and went back. “It was a cheap flight. My round-trip fare was about $60 plus $10 for the MTA…

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