anxiety : The Art of Non-Conformity

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What to Do About That Thing You’ve Been Putting Off

You know how there's something you've been putting off? Maybe you've had it on your to-do list every day for the past fifteen days. Every morning, you think, "I'll finally do that thing today" ... but you don't. The next day, you dutifully carry it over again ... and you still don't complete the task.

Never underestimate the strength of psychic resistance. Dread is a powerful emotion.

I speak from experience, of course. And after I noticed I was spending a ton of energy worrying about something I had to do but not actually doing it—I made a plan. The plan is two-fold, and I offer it here for your use as well.

Life

Do you feel anxious about time? Take this survey!

--> 5-minute survey on Time Anxiety

I received a flurry of responses to my initial post on time anxiety, and it's been interesting to hear lots of stories from readers. To recap:

Time anxiety is the fear of running out of time. You feel like there's something you should be doing, but you're not sure what it is.

I believe that time anxiety is the most pressing problem of the modern world. Once you work your way through Maslow’s hierarchy and your basic needs are taken care of, you start worrying about time—and you never stop.

You worry that time is passing you by
You worry you’re too late or you missed your chance for something important
You worry there’s something you should be doing right now, but you’re not sure what it is

Life

Time Anxiety Is the Most Pressing Problem of Our Age ⌛️

Time is running out, and you should be doing something about it … but you don't know what it is.

That's what this post is about: something called time anxiety. I've been dealing with it for years, and maybe you have, too—even if you've never heard the name.

I believe that time anxiety is the most pressing problem of the modern world. Once you work your way through Maslow's hierarchy and your basic needs are taken care of, you start worrying about time—and you never stop.

You worry that time is passing you by
You worry you're too late for something—you missed your chance
You worry there's something you should be doing right now, but you're not sure what it is

Life

Feeling Depressed in 2020? It’s Not Just You 😔

When we all went into this thing in March, I tried to remain as positive as possible. I still believe everything I said before, about how I want to come out of this time better than I was when it started, etc. We can only worry about what’s within our control. And of course, let’s try to be kind to one another.

But then the spring turned to summer, and the summer to fall (at least in my part of the world). And nothing really got better! Quite the opposite, in fact.

Now we’re all setting low expectations for standards of wellbeing. “Hope you’re hanging in there” is the new “Hope you’re doing well.” And let’s face it, lots of people aren’t doing well.

So, finally, I’ve come to the point of feeling defeated about the whole year—and I know it’s not just me.

Life

The Cost of Unnecessary Worrying

I hope you’re holding up okay in the new world order. Instead of talking to you about social distancing (I’m guessing you’ve heard about that already), today I’ll just give you a personal observation: Since I've started trying to worry only about things I can influence or change, I’ve been a lot less anxious.

This isn’t to say that there aren’t worrisome circumstances out there. It just means that, aside from what you’ve already heard about, there isn’t a lot you can do to change them.

Meanwhile, unnecessary worrying has a cost, without providing any benefit. Worrying about something you can’t control doesn’t make that thing any better.

Life

It’s Not About Overcoming Your Fears; It’s About Acknowledging and Moving On

How do I overcome my shyness? How do I conquer my fears? I want to take a big leap, but I can’t bring myself to approach the ledge… what do I do?

These and similar questions fill my inbox on a regular basis. Many of us long to overcome fears and limiting beliefs, because we think that these are obstacles in our way.

And here’s the thing: it’s not about overcoming. If you're shy or introverted by nature (I am, too) you don’t “get over” these things. In fact, they aren’t things that you’re supposed to “get over.” They’re part of who you are, and they can be weaknesses or strengths depending on what you do with them.

Life

When Anxiety Becomes Overwhelming

The other day I stumbled upon a post I wrote several years ago. The post is titled How I Deal with Anxiety, and I tried to remember what I was experiencing at the time.

Whatever it was, it feels like a lifetime ago. But the advice, originally offered as a pep talk to myself and then shared with readers, still feels fairly relevant.

Over the past few months in particular I’ve been dealing with a lot of recurring anxiety. At times it feels acute (intense and sudden) and other times it feels chronic (enduring and ever-present).

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Life

Writing With Adderall: A Personal Case Study

Here’s the whole story of my experience taking the prescription drug Adderall (the brand name for amphetamine and dextroamphetamine) to help with an increasing inability to focus. If you’re in a similar situation, this might help you, but don’t skip the details and disclaimers.

Life

Plan in Advance When You’ll Begin to Worry About Something

Before a big talk, I used to stress out for weeks. The feeling began with a sense of being unsettled (and not the good kind). I was anxious and unsure of how to resolve it. Finally, at least a few days beforehand, the talk took over my mind and became all I could think about.…

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Life

How I Deal with Anxiety

Update: New post, two years later *** On any given day I’m anxious about any number of things. I don’t relax very well. I feel tense and unsettled at least a couple of times throughout the day. And I worry, because generally I think worry is good. Of course, not all worry is good, and…